We lost it!

(warning, this is a long post with the links)

Where did it go? We have lost the country I grew up in. Common sense is dead and Marv Wilson has the eulogy for it on his blog. There is no disipline allowed for our children, thus they rule us. I’ve heard there is a supreme being that is supposed to be watching over us, but I don’t dare mention that in public. We used to, and we used to do so in school. Ask Red Skelton, The Pledge Of Allegiance .

So we are left with the question, where did the country of our youth go? We have crooked politicians, crime everywhere and we are being taxed to the limit. Our country is not what it used to be. But, on the other side of the coin, look at Europe and Asia. They don’t see the bad parts but they do see us. Let’s hope they stay that way as Kenny Rodgers says, God Bless America Again – Charlie Daniels Band .

 

God bless us all!

A very special tribute

This is one blog I must urge others to see. Please check out Joyce Anthony’s blog today.

http://joyce-anthony.blogspot.com/

Save the Babies!

I can’t say I’m much on the greening kick we’re all on now. I tend to wilt plastic flowers. But, I noticed something outside today that I never saw before. Oh, I’ve seen it, but yet I didn’t. I was standing on the porch and watched the sky rain down a pile of helicopters. I think they come from elm trees but I’m not sure. Anyway, it suddenly dawned on me that these are baby trees! I feel it is only right that we save as many of these as we can. After finding a spot devoid of trees, plant these.

This same logic applies to acorns, walnuts and other baby trees that nature sends to the ground in fervent hope of growth. We as humans tend to see these baby trees and trash and we sweep them up and throw them away. We need the trees! So, for peace of mind and a more vibrant earth, plant a seed, grow a tree, but save the babies whenever possible.

Invasion of the Alien Cell Phones

“Heya Bossa, got dem workin’ and walkin’”

Note from translator: Converting Kooblian to human isn’t easy. My Babelfish is a bit dated. However, that opening phrase of Heya Bossa does translate directly. I modified it a bit because the true words are a very ugly American slang statement. Meanwhile, back at the lab…

“Good! (here you hear a bad imitation of a Boris Karloff laugh.)

“You have our special delivery ready then?”

“No Bossa, we have troubles.”

“Fix it!”

“How? Ita walks but it don’t talks.”

“Have you tried calling an Earthling?”

“Yesa. It saya we gotta paya. What that mean?”

No one knew. It was decided to send a data probe to Verizon.earth. These Kooblians are crafty creatures: ugly as sin, but crafty. The probe found Verizon and shot out a TWB or Terrabyte Worm Byte. This had the effect of planting a virtual payment plan. Now they could test these devious devices.

Back on Kooblia

“Heya Bossa, Ya hears me?”

“Yes stupid, wait until I get in another room then talk to me on these things. You still remember how?”

“Yesa”

It worked. Now for the next step in their plan to conquer Earth. All the walking cell phones were programmed to walk into a human habitat (we call them houses), turn on and send out a continuous subtone that would be received subconsciously. This signal would play for two full Earth weeks. By this time the phrase, “We are Kooblian subjects”, would have everyone convinced that they were indeed Kooblian subjects. We call this brain washing. Then the main invasion force would arrive and take control of Earth.

Kooblia is a planet, circling star MXB17248a. It is a star and planet system in our galaxy but almost on the other side of the galaxy from Earth. MXB17248a is a yellow dwarf. The planet is so small Earth has not detected it. It is also the factor that saves us from destruction.

Scientists on Kooblia discovered that humans spend most of their time on these devices. They did not know what they were called but they managed to smuggle one into their lab. First they learned that there are four place, two per side, that had little doors. It was easy to make these into legs. Then they programmed one and made millions of copies.

After two weeks, special craft were designed to carry and then drop, these devices on every major population area. They had a propulsion system that made it appear to be a gamma ray strike. No one paid any attention. The devices powered up as soon as they landed. They started their trek towards the houses. There was one minor glitch to this. The frequency they emitted was the same as the ant’s food call. These cell phone imitations were also ant sized. Every one was taken into the home of an ant and quickly devoured. The Kooblians never realized that the size of Earth compared to Kooblia was 1000 to 1. Even the Kooblians themselves were the size of ants. By the time the main invasion force landed, it was too late. The ants dined for weeks.

A room to ponder

I was born and raised on a farm. Our house had four rooms and an attic. There was a kitchen, living room and two bedrooms. I was an only kid. Our local reading room was out the backdoor, down a wooden path. If this was in the south, not bad, but we have two seasons in Iowa, Winter, and road construction.

I brought my future wife down for the weekend, from Chicago. It was dark when we arrived. After the long drive she had need for the facilities. Mom was asked and told her it was out that door (she pointed), and down that path. Rose thought she was kidding. She wasn’t. I went for eighteen years without indoor plumbing except running water in the kitchen. She did become a believer in finishing business quickly.

stay Tuned

Coming Friday, April 10th, a visit from Karina Fabian. I am hosting her on this leg of her virtual book tour. More information tomorrow.

Let’s Meet George

“Hey George, what did you put into this stuff? I only did one spray in the lab and all the lights went out. Thankfully I had an extra large can of air cleaner but it still took a half hour for the lights to come back on.”"I’m sorry Larry. Ever since that pay cut and that doctor’s report, Martha’s had me on decaf. To make it worse, she bought some of that cheap instant stuff.”

“I know it’s been rough but the economy has to turn around eventually. Just hang in there.”

George was a chemist at the NoStinkUm chemical plant. He was in charge of designing household air fresheners. The mixes that would spray and not melt the glass beakers were sent to Larry in the test lab. Times were hard and the competition was tough. NoStinkUm chemicals was a small company just trying to carve out its own niche.

“Hello Larry? Yes, I think I may have stumbled onto something.”

“It’s not going to explode or warp the floors or anything?”

“I can’t really guarantee the floors, but I know it won’t explode.”

After the firemen left and the smoke cleared, both men looked into the lab. Larry realized he should not have left that open two-liter bottle of soda. A few calculations later they reached the conclusion. This new spray multiplied the carbonization level by a factor of 1 * 1014. What a mess! It was back to the drawing board.

“George, you have to get off that cheap instant decaf.”

Larry started a company-wide donation to get George some real coffee. His mixes were just too dangerous! Meanwhile, back in George’s lab, it was business as usual. He tried a couple more compounds but he had to stop. That last one was a doozy. As soon as he added that last chemical, all the flasks and test tubes in the room warped into totally unusable shapes. He had to stop working until the new supply arrived that afternoon from the warehouse.

George used this time to go to the local bookstore. He vowed, later, to never admit what he read. I can’t say as I blame him because his next mix proved just how bad cheap decaf was for him. Oh it didn’t harm the lab. In fact Larry suggested doing an in-home test. The problem first surfaced in his car because it smelled of stale cigars. No, George didn’t smoke but his neighbor’s German Shepard did. It was a habit he picked up working for the K-9 police unit. His neighbors wife would not let Shep in their car so George transported him to the vet a few times.

As soon as George got home, he tried a short spray in the kitchen. The effect that spray had on the tea bags, coffee cups and dishes, has to be read to see why NoStinkUm chemicals put George on a strict Strong French Roast sabbatical.

Kritter questions

Just a note to let everyone know that the questions Amanda asked are designed to be answered. I’ll compile your answers in a week or so.

Questions from Amanda and Aesop

1. Humans are funny creatures. Kitties and Eagles have fur and feathers to keep us warm. Why don’t humans?2. Some humans do want fur, but instead of growing your own, you go out and kill my animal friends. Why?

3. Humans are never satisfied. You make paths, you call them roads, through our homes, then you get angry when we cross these paths to go from one part of our home to another. Why can’t you find a way to make these paths without disrupting our home?

4. Humans do not play fair. You have big machines to travel these paths. Why don’t you watch out for us crossing, instead of trying to hit us?

5. With a birds-eye view, Aesop asks: humans are very wasteful. You don’t eat all the food you have, then you throw the leftovers away. Why don’t you throw them someplace accessible to animals and birds? We need to eat also.

6. Whew! I think that’s all the heavy questions. What do humans see in that black water (no translation available, but I think they are talking about coffee), you drink? King Squirrel tried it once. By the time the effect wore off, he was three forests away and very sore from bouncing off so many trees.

7. Humans are strange. They constantly watch weird picture boxes then complain about being out of shape. Why?

8. To make matters worse, why does your offspring suffer through all that noise while trying to convince everyone, (themselves too I think), that this noise is really music?

9. Amanda saw something really strange the other day. It was very cold, in fact it was double-fur cold. A female human was trotting along, wearing almost nothing. She had wires running out of her ears. Was that some kind of a heating device?

10. There is one question that has bothered Amanda for a long time. Why don’t humans have tails?

Note from Koko:
“I’m sorry I didn’t get these questions translated right away. I had a hard time with finding human words for some of the questions. I also was concerned that some of those first few questions were dangerous to ask. But Aesop and Amanda pleaded with me to include them.”