UNWRITER Ron Berry

February 16, 2009

Unanswered Questions – Answered

Filed under: humor — unwriter1 @ 12:51 pm
Tags: , , ,

“Mr., uhm, I don’t know your name…””Just call me Jim, and you are?”

“Bob, Bob Barker, head of CPI, Cement Potentials, Incorporated.”

“You look so much different in person.”

“No, I’m not that Bob Barker. But the price is right on our products. In fact, Let’s make a deal. I’d like to take to you and the family out to dinner tonight and discuss it.”

“Ok, so you’re people contact my people to set this up?”

“No, that’s how the other Bob Barker does it. Would seven o’clock be ok? We can meet at La Chez Conc, if that’s ok?”

“That’s fine, but that is a very expensive place.”

“Not a problem. I’m picking up the tab. I happen to own that place. My son is the head cook. We got into a heated debate about him not following his old man’s footsteps. He wanted to be a cook of all things. We compromised. I built the restaurant for him but we both named it. He wanted something fancy and selected La Chez. I wanted it to reflect my primary business so I added Conc. That is as close as Paul, my son, would let me get to concrete.”

“I see. Ok, so seven o’clock it is. We’ll meet you there.”

Penny was very excited about the chance to go to the fanciest nightclub in town. Of course she needed a new outfit. Jim wore a suit often to attend meetings so he didn’t need new clothes. It didn’t take her long to select a modest gray evening gown.

“Wear that and I won’t be able to tell you from the sidewalk.”

Penny bopped him on the arm for his gray sense of humor. She then answered back that his gray hair matched her dress and the sidewalk.

After the valet drove their car to a parking space, Jim escorted Penny inside. The Maitre de guided them to a private room. Mr. Barker and several others were already there. When introductions were done and another round of cocktails finished, dinner was ordered. They didn’t discuss business until everyone finished eating and the table was cleared. It was a relatively short meeting. The other guests were from the advertising department and some of the bioengineers.

“The long and short of it is that we want to use your photo’s of the sidewalk, before and after in our ad program and on our packaging. We would also like to hire you as a spokesman. We will make it worth your while. John, would you please give us the basics on how the product works?”

“Sure Mr. Barker”

“I can’t discuss specifics but the general idea is that a ten foot sidewalk requires four bags of Procreating Concrete – F to one bag of Procreating Concrete – M. Any other combination results in mushy cement that never sets up. Used correctly, there are around a dozen blocks produced per ten-foot segment. The offspring are, of course, sterile.”

“I see”

“David, you are head of advertising. Would you please explain to Jim and Penny, isn’t it, just where they fit in?”

“Ok”

“We would like to put your two pictures, before and after, with you standing in between, on every bag. We would like to also use that same collage on our flyers and monthly magazines. In addition, we want you to be our frontman for this. How does that sound to you?”

“It sounds great, but I want my family lawyer to look it over first.”

“Ok that sounds fair.”

It took the lawyer a couple of weeks to go through the contract with a fine-tooth comb. After haggling with the company’s legal staff they reached an agreement. I’m not at liberty to discuss details but needless to say, it was very lucrative for everyone.

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6 Comments »

  1. […] P B J ~ (poetry, blarney and jottings) added an interesting post today on Unanswered Questions – AnsweredHere’s a small reading “Mr., uhm, I don’t know your name…”Just call me Jim, and you are?” “Bob, Bob Barker, head of CPI, Cement Potentials, Incorporated.” “You look so much different in person.” “No, I’m not that Bob Barker. But the price is right on our products. In fact, Let’s make a deal. I’d like to take to you and the family out to dinner tonight and discuss it.” “Ok, so you’re people contact my people to set this up?” “No, that’s how the other Bob Barker does it. Would seven o’clock be ok? We can meet at […]

    Pingback by Topics about Humoristic and Funny stuff » Archive » Unanswered Questions - Answered — February 16, 2009 @ 1:23 pm | Reply

  2. Are you writing a book, here Ron? One post at a time? Or running a cliff-hanger soap opera on Unwriter? (smile) Has me interested, I’ll say that.

    Comment by Marvin D Wilson — February 16, 2009 @ 3:02 pm | Reply

  3. Sounds like maybe a dream, not something that would happen to someone like me.

    Morgan Mandel
    http://morganmandel.blogspot.com
    http://makeminemystery.blogspot.com

    Comment by Morgan Mandel — February 16, 2009 @ 5:08 pm | Reply

  4. This is so cute. you know, sometime you can put these all together and have a super great story. Or book of stories. Can’t wait to read more.

    Comment by Terre — February 17, 2009 @ 1:16 am | Reply

  5. You should put the two posts together and send them as a flash story to various magazines. Or you could add a little bit to the second one from the first and submit it. Either way very unusual and interesting story.

    Comment by BarbaraE — February 17, 2009 @ 1:44 am | Reply

  6. Well looks like we have a new way to build a city, one block at a time. Maybe we could even build our own home full love on a solid foundation.

    Ang

    Comment by ahartson53@gmail.com — February 23, 2009 @ 11:19 pm | Reply


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