UNWRITER Ron Berry

August 10, 2009

Food for Thought

Filed under: humor — unwriter1 @ 5:58 am

Young children have a tendency to ask the simplest of questions for which there is no answer.

“Dad, why is the sky blue?”

You, being the all-knowing dad know this answer. You went to collage. Ok, your majors were girl watching and basket weaving but still, it’s a simple question.

“Because”

Ok, today’s children don’t really accept that logical answer.

“Because why?”

Oh boy. Now the sweat comes out. Ya gotta find an answer that will satisfy this little Einstein without admitting you never got the answer to this question right.

At this point you remember taking the course, ‘Questions little children ask’. Alas, the day this question came up, you were at the maternity ward waiting while the wife gave birth to this little monst, er, child that would one day confound you with this question. You try again.

“Because it’s the biggest crayon in Nature’s toybox.”

There, you have an answer that satisfies the question and it’s accepted. But, is it right? You now have a tool that will tell you the definitive answer, the Internet.

You type into Google, or whatever search engine you use,

“Why is the sky blue?”

From this search you learn two things. First, A clear cloudless day-time sky is blue because molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than they scatter red light. Second, 122,000 other dads know this answer and posted it on the Internet. So, do you stick with your original answer or try to explain the real reason? Do you really want to admit that one and a quarter million dads know more that you? No, you just tell Mr. ask me a question,

“Breakfast time”

and leave it at that. But while little Johnny is plastering you, the walls, the high chair and the dog with Malt-o-Meal, you begin to wonder who puts these answers on the Internet. So after pulling out the industrial vacuum and scoop shovel, power washing the dog and giving Johnny to mom to clean up, you head back to the computer. How many other simple questions have answers and how many really dumb questions have been asked? I have to admit I asked that question myself. I don’t have room here to list the complete months long survey and statistical analysis I did, nor all the questions I asked.

Ok, I only asked the above question, but still… Pick a search engine, any search engine (or what’s behind door number 3), and type in the silliest question you can think of. There may be millions of hits. It doesn’t matter what the answer is. What I find so astounding is the number of answers that can number in the millions. Who put this stuff on the Internet? How many millions of people took the time to type up reports on why dirt is brown, or why is water wet? These are but two of the most earth shattering questions and people actually know the answer! In fact:

There are 7,640 answers to the dirt question and 303,000 answers to the wet water. For every question there is an answer and it’s on the Internet, all you have to do is look. What is so amazing is how many others have put information on this super encyclopedia. The index to this information is called a search engine, such as Google.

Have you posted anything to the net yet?

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8 Comments »

  1. Glad to see you making such a good-faith effort to answer these questions. We learn a lot ourselves from doing this. For example, how to spell “college” …:)

    Comment by davis — August 10, 2009 @ 6:07 am | Reply

  2. I don’t post anything to the net as though I have some be all and end all answers. But I do find answers to completely outlandish questions a lot. You’re right – there’s no telling what you read on the net if it has any veracity to it. Loved the kid questions examples. When you can answer all the “why” questions a kid can come up with you are some kind of wisdom god indeed! lol

    The Old silly

    Comment by Marvin D Wilson — August 10, 2009 @ 6:10 am | Reply

  3. If I don’t know the answer to something or how to do something, I always Google it. 99.9 times out of 100 I get an answer that’s right.

    It’s good and bad. People don’t have to think as much any more to figure things out when they can get an answer right away on the Internet.

    Morgan Mandel
    http://morganmandel.blogspot.com
    http://www.morganmandel.com

    Comment by Morgan Mandel — August 10, 2009 @ 6:44 am | Reply

  4. Wow.. this article started out exactly like one i had written a couple of months ago..check it out if you can you might find it interesting .. it is called “Learning” Do let me know what you think about it.

    Comment by Ajay K. Yadavalli — August 10, 2009 @ 7:32 am | Reply

  5. Now if it could just send us the money as fast as the answers. Good food for thought.

    Comment by Ron Berry — August 10, 2009 @ 8:50 am | Reply

  6. Good one–I love Google!

    Comment by Joyce — August 10, 2009 @ 3:22 pm | Reply

  7. Thank God for Google! But where the heck were you, Google, when MY child was asking questions???? Good post, Ron Twain!

    Comment by Carol — August 10, 2009 @ 6:21 pm | Reply

  8. I like your answer on why the sky is blue, Ron! The internet is a source of wonder to me, as well as the source of answers to any and all quesitons. It is amazing the amount of information readily available there, the number of people and hours of work to get it all in there! I’ve shared some poems but that’s about it. I use google or yahoo search just about every day. Thanks for your good post!

    Comment by Connie Arnold — August 11, 2009 @ 9:33 am | Reply


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