November 21, 2010


Filed under: Essays — unwriter1 @ 11:31 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

“Shut that damn kid up!” How often do you hear that said? “Mommy will be back in a few minutes.” Another familiar statement. What does the child hear? “Daddies mad at me. What did I do wrong this time?” The crying gets louder. “Mommy is leaving. I’ll never see her again.

These are two common and all too often deadly adult child-related sentences. Let me tackle these in reverse order. I’ll start with time.

How many babies and toddlers understand the concept of time? None. You can tell a young one a few minutes but you might as was say forever. To a child, it’s the same thing. As far as the little one knows, once you are out of sight, fear sets in that you will never be seen again. You’re laughing at me about this, but that is because you know, as an adult, that you will be right back. Look at this and all these comments as a child would see them. Try to view the world from their perspective.

You or your mate returns home from work after a very frustrating day. Traffic was horrid or your boss was in a bad mood. DO NOT TAKE THIS OUT ON THE CHILD! Kids do not understand bad days or things that upset adults. They cry because they were yelled at out of adult frustration. All the child wants is a smile so they know the adult recognizes them. In other words, say hi and don’t treat the child as invisible.

Crying is a baby’s way communicating important information. There are only five types of crying:

  1. Hunger
  2. Tired
  3. Dirty diaper
  4. Hurt
  5. Scared

Four and five are easily eliminated by observation. A check of the diaper will answer number three. If the latest meal was recent, then you know it’s naptime. The bottom line?

Pay attention to your children. They do let you know their needs. Have a bad day? Pick up the child, troubles will melt away. A smile on a child’s face is the magic elixir. The soft, gentle caresses are Gods therapy.



  1. Good post, Ron. I’m going to make my husband read it and have him pretend I’m the child. I’m sick of him taking his frustrations out on me because I’m the only one here. I’m glad we don’t have small children at home. 🙂 And why am I not on your favorite links???


    Comment by Ginger — November 21, 2010 @ 11:51 am | Reply

  2. So true ,Ron!
    Children really are a gift to be treasured.
    Jay’s Writer’s World

    Comment by Jay Hudson — November 21, 2010 @ 12:26 pm | Reply

  3. So true. We often take out our frustrations on those who are vulnerable, our children. You have some very good advice.

    Comment by Beverly — November 21, 2010 @ 12:30 pm | Reply

  4. Good post Ron. It says it all. Children, they love unconditionally and we should too. Understanding their fear is a big part of that.

    Comment by billiewilliamsmysteryauthor — November 21, 2010 @ 2:06 pm | Reply

  5. All too true, my friend. I remember when I was still working (against the doctor’s advice) and my son would come running to me for a big bear hug when I got home. I hurt so much and the merest touch hurt–but I never denied the hug–for it gave us both that needed connection. As I prepare now for his leaving home in less than a year, I look back and cherish each of those moments even more! Great post!

    Comment by Joyce A. Anthony — November 21, 2010 @ 2:23 pm | Reply

  6. great essay. Sometimes you want to ask some people why they had kids. Children are not pet. Takes lots of energy to be a parent.

    Comment by Linda — November 21, 2010 @ 3:06 pm | Reply

  7. Oh, this is good Ron. Thanks for shring. I especially like the last line.

    Pee Wee

    Comment by Pee Wee — November 21, 2010 @ 3:10 pm | Reply

  8. A very inspiring post, one that should be shared with all young parents. Mine are all grown and I don’t have grandbabies yet, but I’m filing this away for when that time comes. Thanks for sharing.

    Comment by Ciara Gold — November 21, 2010 @ 3:46 pm | Reply

  9. Great blog.



    Comment by margaret tanner — November 22, 2010 @ 3:53 am | Reply

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