October 7, 2011

Maple Spaghetti

Filed under: humor — unwriter1 @ 7:24 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

 Lunchtime found Zeke sitting in the family restaurant. As he walked in he noticed Abe sitting in the corner booth and decided to join him.


“Marty, bring Zeke a cup o’ that there special mornin’ eye opener ya got brewing. I don’t know what she puts in this stuff but it t’ain’t normal coffee. Taste it afore ya’s put’s any o’ that white stuff in. Ah knows ya likes it sweet, but this early in the morn ya wants ta gets up and git ta goin’.”


What Marty never told anyone is that she had thrown the grounds from the coffee pot out back and it had taken hold and started to grow. I don’t know what am but in this neck o’ the woods weird things grow. (Ok, so it’s poor English. I’m the narrator and I grew up around these folks so I tends ta talks like ‘em at times., ok?!?! ‘nuff said)


Turns out that the growing season for this new breed of coffee was quite short, so she was able to pull two crops out in one season. After putting enough aside to make another crop in the spring, Marty took the rest of the beans and put them in her uncle’s corn dryer for a couple of weeks. She pulled out a handful and ground them up to see how they would taste. They weren’t dry enough so they made an extra strong pot. Actually it was strong and heavy because when she picked up the carafe to pour a cup, it broke. The stuff even melted part of the counter! She decided to let the stuff dry a bit longer.


The next time she tried it, about a month later, it came out like it should. One taste and she knew she had a winner! One sip and she was wired and ready to go. By the time she finished the first cup she had cleaned the entire kitchen! But she wasn’t ready to try it on the customers yet. Although the first reaction was good, it seemed like a wise idea to make sure there weren’t any negative side effects. By the end of the day she knew it was safe because the effects wore off gradually and didn’t cause her to crash and burn, which usually happened with the caffeine pills. She put it on the menu as the B & B Eye opener.


“Hey Marty, where’d ya ever find this stuff? It’s great!”


“Sorry Zeke, that’s my special mix and I ain’t ready ta give out my secrets.”


Although it was breakfast time, Zeke ordered spaghetti because he would be starting to harvest the pitcher plants when he got home. Abe, on the other hand, ordered pancakes. Tempting fate (and ignoring Abe’s warning), Zeke also ordered a second cup of that special coffee. Well, you can just imagine the effects of trying to eat when you’re so wired you can barely sit. Yep, you’re right, Zeke grabbed the maple syrup instead of the spaghetti sauce. You ain’t et til ya tried it!


Now ya gots ta remember, this is spaghetti and pancake growing country , so what happened next is just natural.


“Abe, try this!” (Abe was trying not to laugh at Zeke’s mistake, but it t’warn’t easy).

“Syrup on spaghetti? You’re crazier than the rest of the family!”


But, to pacify him, Abe took a bite.


“By golly, you may have something there. But how will you ever convince folks to try it? I mean, let’s face it, most normal people just don’t put syrup on spaghetti.”


“Let me get back home. I have an idea”


One thing the whole family knew was that before planting a full sized crop, they needed to get the formula right. But, weather was all too often a negative factor so each of the farms had a greenhouse and thus they could experiment year round. Zeke gathered up seeds from the spaghetti plants and the pitcher plants. The big question was, does one put both seeds in the same row, or what is the proper procedure? Maybe cross-pollinating was best. He planted two test beds, one for each method. It took the rest of the fall and part of winter but he had his answer. By spring planting, he was ready.


Since it was only a small yield Zeke decided to let Abe and Marty try it to see if they thought it was a viable crop. The smiles on their faces was all Zeke needed to see to know he did it right. He headed home to get the larger field ready. This time he had enough to let Marty put it on the menu.  In fact, she did more than that because her window now sported a big, new sign:


“New menu item for brunch. Try it once and you’ll never eat it any other way”


“Marty, you didn’t list what the new item was on your sign.”


“I know, I did that on purpose so folks would ask what it is and I can give them a free sample.”


After a week or so, she had customers lining up, wanting to sample this new sensation. Each plate served came with several pats of butter, but no sauce. It was all the hints needed and word of mouth had already spread as to that being the best way. Marty and Zeke were getting rave reviews for this new dish. Who would ever guessed just how popular Maple Spaghetti would be!!


  1. Buddy the Elf puts syrup on spaghetti in the movie ELF. Everybody thinks it’s gross until they try it!

    Comment by Joyce Scarbrough — October 12, 2011 @ 3:30 pm | Reply

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