UNWRITER Ron Berry

November 1, 2011

The American Way

Freedom, remember that? We used to have it. Not any more. We are now a nation controlled by insurance companies, pantywaists, and an idiot named Obama. Smoking is bad for you. So, since it is bad, insurance companies and state fools, er, governments, ban it everywhere. But, there is a big push to legalize marijuana. This makes sense how? People are so afraid of smelling a cigarette that they will go to extremes to avoid it. Yet how many people are overcome by perfumes and colognes? Not to worry, that’s the next thing to get banned. Coming to work with even a hint of smoke will get you fired. Coming to work with a hangover is a great conversation starter and will get you invited out for a multi-cocktail lunch.

Women have finally won equality but that is about to end. Instead of just allowing a woman the right to just say no, others know what is really correct. Abortion will be banned. Where does that leave us? For the females that survive the back alley use-any-available-kitchen-utensil, their male counterparts will have to work two or more jobs to support the plethora of unwanted children. Not to worry though because children know when they aren’t wanted. So, since parents can no longer discipline their offspring, we can expect a lot more criminal activity. Mom didn’t want the child but the law does. Isn’t it nice to be wanted?

Sex and sexual activities are still allowed: if and only if you are heterosexual. Non-heterosexuality is genetic. It cannot be changed through therapy. But you don’t need to know science to be in politics. Take a look at who is running for office this year for proof.

Ladies, considering the way this country is changing, there are only two things you can do. Start smoking to prevent getting pregnant or a job, and grow your hair long, thus allowing the male to have something to grab hold of as he drags you into his mancave.

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