February 29, 2012

Grande Openning

As you may have noticed, I added an e at the end of grand because There is a lot involved here. NASA is on the verge of finding an inhabitable planet nearby. Japan has the space elevator contract with Boeing spacecraft docking at the interplanetary airport, two stars and three asteroids to the left of our sun. That in and of itself is newsworthy but With a touch of imagination, it’s possible to see what will happen. The first three inhabitants will be:

1. A major realator.

2. Walmart

3. Safeway

Once the real estate company has a lock on all the best land, Walmart moves in followed by Safeway.  It is now time for the next two loads to be transported up to earth2. The first load is the contractors to build all the row houses and the second one stocks both stores. This will soon be followed by the road and pothole construction team and then the smartforearth2 vehicles.

The obvious next two loads are the politicians and the residents that voted for them. While this is going on, Verizon is expanding from 4G to Earth to Earth coverage (at a slightly higher rate of course and the new phones needed.) Microsoft will have the internet locked up with it’s new operating system Windows earthly. Power will be geothermal since Walmart broke ground and a natural heat vent which it immediately harnessed. The original idea for automotive power was steam (with all the politicians up there), but electricity was more practical and easier to control.

Thanks to modern genetics, they now have cows, pigs and chickens in pill form. Some idiot threw in the DNA of his cats so they are also in pill form. He tried to get the makings from his dog but just as he was getting ready to insert the needle, a car drove past. Thus the first farmers and ranchers can just carry a few cases of these pills and start their buisness. A rumor has it that the first guy to grab the cow pills realized he could make a fortune with the methane produced.

Since it will take time for the agriculture industry to take hold, the newly invented replicator and beef from plants will have to surfice. One enterprising couple, planning ahead, put in a very large order for these replicators and secured a contract with Walmart to provide the plastic dishes and tableware. They have also planned to use this machine to make copies of itself and sell them to other business ventures. What happens next is anyone’s guess but I would imagine that they will soon be looking for a bigger planet for the overstock.

April 19, 2011

Time moves on

Filed under: humor — unwriter1 @ 8:38 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Time Dilation

I can understand Pailwriters point of view with regards to windows. But it does bring a few things to mind. Last and most certainly least are handles. Pail Writer? I can picture stories in the Farmers Gazette about the variety of milk pails, but I don’t think the reference is write. Unwriter is just as bad. Just think of the uncola, anything to be different.

The more important bits that hit my mind (I’m thickheaded so it takes a hammer to knock new ideas in), is high speed development. Since Pailwriter doesn’t use windows, then does he use portholes or does he live in a glass house? That is what many would think when they read a statement like that. Others may think of a security blanket (Peanuts). The fact of the matter is that Linux is a very secure operating system. Another version of this is mandrake (must be magic (Oh wait, I’m showing my years)). Another solid operating system is Mac. So why is the Windows OS (Operating System) so popular? In my opinion it’s the size and advertising budget of Microsoft and a strong influence by Advil (Windows can be a real headache).

The Windows operating system is upgraded every couple of years. Every computer is out of date before it leaves the factory. I guess they call it progress. To put it in a slightly different perspective, Farmers didn’t upgrade their horses every other year. The plow stayed pretty much the same for centuries. In fact, everything stayed the same for years. Then some fool idiot or group of idiots started the machine age. Now everything was made faster but it was also made obsolete faster. Every other decade there would be a new plow. But, the horse stayed the same. That is, until someone learned to ‘harness’ their power and put a bunch of them in one object called a motor. Now technology whizzed right along. Every decade or so plows changed and even the method of pulling that plow got better. The tractor was invented.

But, in the twentieth century, somebody got a bright idea. Actually it was an electrifying idea. At this point, using a few lightbulbs, the tractors could be built day and night. Put lights on the tractor and the tomato field could be planted day or night. Everything is speeding up. A doctor in the nineteen teens said the human body couldn’t take speeds over twenty five miles per hour. Hmmm., the astronauts were going better than 18,000 miles per hour and they were going straight up! What would that doctor think?

Aristotle tried to discover the smallest thing possible. He divided by two until he arrived at something he could not divide and this he named atom. By the middle of the twentieth century, even this was divided. It was a rather explosive idea. Scientists had also discovered many different types of atoms and these were then named elements. So let’s throw these three ideas into our mixmaster and see what we get. A batter made with lightbulbs, electricity and some different elements gives us many things. Our first batch gives us television and radio.  Add a few more years and we get a field called electronics and that gave us computers.

As you may have noticed, Once we hit the technology age, change happens much quicker. We are now at a point where we are using what we can’t see to move us along at speeds we can’t calculate. The horse and plow has moved aside and high speed change has moved in. I guess that explains why we have to get a new version of windows every other week. At the rate it’s going, we’ll have to upgrade yesterday to get what is invented tomorrow or be forever stuck behind the horse and plow.

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